The Fantastic Four (1994)

This professor is overly dramatic and who wears a lab coat to class.

You’re sitting too close to the TV! You’ll ruin your eyes.

By all means. Let’s take some unqualified people just because they are eager.

What the hell is this sewer dwelling diamond smeller?!

Twenty minutes in I have to increase the play speed to proceed.

Is this guy an ex-Olympian? He dashed laser tripwires easier than Ethan Hunt?!

What can I say about the music? One moment it is Disney and the next it a a poor soap opera.
I guess everyone buy Ben has been stranged up.

Wow! Even considering the circumstances Johnny really flew off the handle.

In a modern movie they’d be giving Johnny’s hand action a wide berth.

They ran off without knowing who the queen is?

This is almost a crappy Tim Burton film.

Why are they so shocked to see all the guns? They just saw them two screnes ago?!

Doom Troopers! Complete with Doom Blasters!

Huh :)

Suddenly a 4?!

Completely unnecessary zoom in on contemplative Johnny. At least it didn’t last long.

I’m just a guy looking for a donut.

Suddenly Ben is a mute pet?!

There is a bottomless pit in the sewer?

Number One clearly has a wide fingers condition.

Doom has spent not enough time practicing miming for some reason.

Now they have a VTOL jet and a monogrammed building?!

Reed is a static sociopath while the others scream in agony.

There is a tremendous amount of spur of the moment love.

And suddenly she has a shield. What an origin story… with a cornacopia of missing details.

He punched the laser beam?! OMG! I never liked the Fantastic Four and now I don’t want to live.

Makes we want to send a folded flag to the family of everyone involved.